THE MOVIE
by Crazybird101
Summary: What happens when you get a Necrophilia Spinosaurus and his Armada of Velocioraptors and combine them with Well That's Random? MADNESS!


WARNING: MAJOR OOC, COARSE LANGUAGE, AU, YAOI, NECROPHILIA

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN LOTG AND OTHER STUFF THAT I'M TOO LAZY TO LIST.

X.X

Pure One Household

Crazybird: Ah. There's nothing like watching Jurassic Park 3 on a snowy Thursday night.

Kludd: *nods in agreement*

Nyroc: Ooh! Here comes the part where the Spinosaurus whoops the T-Rex's ass!

Crazybird: *Gasp!* I love this part!

Ginger: Oh please. If this were real the Spinosaurus wouldn't stand a chance against the T-Rex.

Crazybird: *Glares at Ginger* Uh. Hello? The proof is right in front of your face! Spinosaurus is totally The Boss.

Kludd: Actually Crazybird, T-Rex is The Boss.

Nyroc: Nuh Uh! Spinosaurus totally OWNED T-Rex!

Ginger: That's because it's a fucking movie you fucking dumbass!

Crazybird: Why don't you just shut the fuck up already?!

Ginger: Shut up Norman Bades!

Crazybird: YOU BITCH! *Lunges at Ginger*

Nyroc: *Tackles Kludd*

Dustytuft: *Enters the living and sees the four fighting and walks away*

Isla Sorna

Spinosaurus: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Laughs evilly while standing beside T-Rex's dead body* Finally! I have defeated the Tyranosaurus at long last! *Laughs evilly. Again*

Scard Velocioraptor: *Walks up to Spinosaurus* Congratulations master.

Spinosaurus: Now! It is time for me to perform Necrophilia on his cold dead corpse!

*Tape scratches*

*Orange Velocioraptor and blue-eyed Velocioraptor look at one another*

Scard Raptor: *Stammer* S-say what now?

Blue-eyed Raptor: I thought you killed him for the title of 'King of the fucking Dinosaurs'

Spinosaurus: SILENCE YOU FOOL! IT IS MORE THAN THAT!

*The three raptors huddle against each other in fear while shivering*

Spinosaurus: Believe it or not. Once upon a time: Rexy and I were Best Friends.

*Raptors exchange confused looks*

Spinosaurus: We used to hang out with each other. Play video games. Hit on females. Get drunk in parties. And hunt down humans that nobody gives a crap about like that fat bastard from Jurassic Park 1, Nedry. *sighs* But then one day we went over to a Bachelor's party. I believe the unlucky fool was an owl named Surtr.

Orange Raptor: Surtr?

Scard Raptor: *Shrugs*

Spinosaurus: SILENCE! Anyway, we had a great time. Even though the entire party was being videod. But Rex and I got drunk. And I mean drunk. As a matter of fact, we were fucking wasted. While Surtr was having a chugging contest, Rex and I decided to go to the men's room. Once we got to the last stall, since it was the largest one in there, we started to...make out.

Orange Raptor: *spits out drink*

Blue-eyed Raptor: *faints*

Scard Raptor: OoO

Spinosaurus: *sighs* Yep. And it was the greatest make out I've ever gotten. Then after that he gave me a B*. And then I shoved that large thing of mine right into his tight ass.

Orange Raptor: *Pukes*

Spinosaurus: Of course we didn't realise this until a group of Paranormal Investigators came in after getting a complaint of loud moaning and groaning coming from the men's room. And I was like 'Fuck'. And then our friendship went downfall from there. Apparently he was pissed off at me for making him look like a fag. And then we became sworn enemies. But now that I've killed him, I can finally perform my sick hobby of necrophilia. *Drags body into a large cave*

*The three Raptor have an O.o look*

Parodyvill College

Kludd: And that is why we are here.

Ian Malcom: *Takes off glasses* So let me get this straight: You four want to know which is better, the T-Rex or Spinosaurus?

Crazybird: Yes. That is correct.

Ian Malcom: Ummmm. I only study stuff about Chaos. Not dinosaurs.

Nyroc: What?! Dude! You were in Jurassic Park 1 & 2!

Ian Malcom: Yeah. But Steven Spielberg has his reasons. So I'm afraid I can't help you kids.

*The four owls give him an offended expression*

Kludd: Who are you calling kids?

Outside

Crazybird: I still think the Spinosaurus is ten times better then T-Rex

Kludd: Let's settle this then. Who can get the most votes on who is better, that team is the winner.

Nyroc: Your on! Team Spino for life!

Ginger: Team Rex will prevail!

Isla Sorna

*10 million raptors crowd in an abandoned warehouse*

Raptor 1: So yeah, I was hoping to get Jannet to go out with me again.

Raptor 794: But she isn't really easy to convince.

Raptor 1: True. True. But I'll just use my raptor charms on her.

Raptor 1903: Raptor charms my ass!

Spinosaurus: SIIIIIIIIIIILLEEEEEEEEENNNNNCCEEE!

*The Raptor shut up*

Spinosaurus: Tonight is the night where we finally invade the mainland and claim world domination!

*Every raptor cheers*

Spinosaurus: Once we wipe out the entire human population off the face of this planet, I wll perform Necrophilia on their cold corpses as well!

*Cheering suddenly comes to a halt*

Spinosaurus: What?

*Cricket chirps in the background*

AWKWARD MOMENT

University Auditorium

Crazybird: *standing on a podium while reading some note cards* And that is why we need you to tell us on who you think is better. *Puts note cards down*

*The entire audience is silent*

Crazybird:... Anyone?

*Some random person coughs in the background*

PRIME Starscream: *Raises hand*

Crazybird: Yes?

Starscream: Soundwave and I personally believe that the Spinosaurus is badass.

PRIME Soundwave: *nods*

Crazybird: *leans down and whispers to Nyroc* Write this down!

Nyroc: *nods and starts writing*

Crazybird: Anyone else?

Ash Ketchum: *Raises hand*

Crazybird: *sighs* What is it Ash?

Ash: I think the T-Rex is better.

Everyone:...

Random person: *Stands up* Kill Ash Ketchum!

PRIME Knockout: Kill Ash Ketchum!

Everyone: *Starts beating up Ash*

SCREW YOU ASH!

Airport Hilton

Kludd: *Standing on a podium and reading from note cards* And that is why I came here to Colorado. *Puts note cards down*

Cartmen: *Raises hand*

Kludd: What Cartmen?

Cartmen: You lied! The poster said that Terrence and Phillip would be here!

Audience: Yeah!

Kludd: Who?

Stan: Terrence and Phillip!

Kludd: We didn't say anything about Terrence and Phillip. We just want your guys' opinions on which is better: T-Rex or Spinosaurus?

Audience: Oh.

Kenny: *Raises hand*

Kludd: Yes Kenny?

Kenny: Mmmfff mmffff mfff mff

*Kludd and Ginger exchange confused expressions*

Ginger: What?

Kyle: He says that he thinks that the T-Rex is the best.

Kludd: Finally! Somebody who understands!

*A large stage light suddenly falls from the ceiling and crashes on Kenny*

Stan: OMG! THEY KILLED KENNY!

Kyle: YOU BASTARDS!

Isla Sorna

Spinosaurus: Now! Before I can commence the invasion, we need a group name and we need to find a way to the mainland.

Everyone: Hmmm

?: I know!

Everyone: *Looks over the source of the voice*

Emolga: Let's call ourselves the Emolga Enforcers!

*Cricket chrips in the background*

Emolga: :D

Spinosaurus:... Who the hell let this little freak in?

Emolga: FREAK? *static appears* WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FREAK?

*Electrocutes everyone*

5 minutes later

Spinosaurus: Dose anyone else have a name?

Orange Raptor: Let's call ourselves the Pirate Monkeys!

Everyone:...

Orange Raptor: It's an awesome name.

Blue-eyed Raptor: Have you been watching Invader Zim again?

*Everyone looks at Orange Raptor*

Orange Raptor:... No.

Spinosaurus: Whatever we'll come up with one once we get there! Now, how are we going to get there?

Everyone: Hmmmmm

Scard Raptor: *gasps* I know!

Parody Hut

*Crazybird and Nyroc are sitting in a booth*

Crazybird: *looking at clipboard* So far we have 548 votes for Spinosaurus and 420 for T-Rex.

Nyroc: *Grins* I cannot wait to see the look on Kludd and Ginger's face when they find out.

*Door opens and Kludd and Ginger walk in*

*Kludd and Ginger sit in the booth beside them*

Kludd: *looking at clipboard* We have 548 votes for Spinosaurus and 420 for T-Rex.

Ginger: Shit man! Crazybird and Nyroc are going to beat us!

Kludd: Unless we...change them a bit.

Ginger: Change how?

Kludd: Easy, just switch the scores around.

Ginger: Will we get in trouble?

Kludd: Pffft! Like they're ever gonna find out.

*Crazybird and Nyroc exchange angry looks*

Nyroc: Oh, they are so dead.

Isla Sorna

Scard Raptor: Here it is!

*Spinosaurus and the other raptors say 'Oooooooh'*

*They are standing in front of large cargo ships*

Scard Raptor: These were left behind after the Humans evacuated before the Hurricane. They haven't been used in years and they are big enough to hold all of us.

Spinosaurus: *Nods approvingly* You've done a great honor for us all. Now we have the necessary gear to begin the invasion!

*Everyone cheers*

Blue-eyed Raptor: But wait!

*Everyone stops*

Spinosaurus: What is it now?

Blue-eyed Raptor: We're dinosaurs. Wouldn't be odd if we started to invade the mainland? I mean, the humans have far more advanced technology than we do here.

Everyone: *Looks at one another*

Blue-eyed Raptor: Humans have been to our island in the past. But wouldn't we be as bad as them if we invade their territory? I mean, maybe if we learn to live just as our ancestors did in the past, maybe we can finally find our place on this Earth.

Everyone:...

Scard Raptor: Your just saying that so you could get Orange here to sleep with you.

Blue-eyed Raptor: Hey! I charge 35 for an hour!

Scard Raptor: Blue Eyes, you can't even lead a drunk male to your den. Nor can you even get Orange sleep with you. And he's the dumbest raptor in the entire pack!

Orange Raptor: *chasing a butterfly before running headfirst into a tree*

Spinosaurus: Thank you for wasting 10 minutes of our lives with your gay little speech Blue Eyes. But before we prepare the ships, we need to send someone ahead of us to gain information on the humans' weakenesses. Who wants to volunteer?

*Nobody raises their hand*

Spinosaurus: *sighs*

3 minutes later

Spinosaurus: And that is your mission? Do you understand?

Gir:... I do :)

Spinosaurus:... Okay then. Now go!

Gir: *Skips over to a small boat and drives*

Spinosaurus: Why do I have a bad feeling that I'm going to regret this?

Parody Lake

Kludd: So Mr. Voorhees, can you tell us on who do you think is better?

Jason: Hmmmm, I gotta say Spinosaurus.

Kludd: Okay then. *Puts a tally on the T-Rex section* Thank you for your time.

Jason: No problem

Mrs. Voorhees: Jason! Time for dinner!

Jason: Coming mom!

Decepticon Household

*Nyroc, Crazybird, and Soundwave are watching from a monitor*

Nyroc: Son of a bitch.

Crazybird: Those cheaters!

Nyroc: We can't let them get away with this! I'm going to whoop their ass right now!

Crazybird: Hold on a sec Nyroc. Let's change things a bit.

Nyroc: Change how?

Crazybird: *looks up at Soundwave* Soundwave, can you send an email to everyone in Parodyvill that there's going to be a big vote tonight at 9?

Soundwave: *Nods and starts typing*

Nyroc: A vote?

Crazybird: *nods* Instead of having to ask others, why not have a simple vote?

Nyroc:... Crazybird. You are an evil genius.

S.S. Hummingbird

Spinosaurus: *standing outside* Is everything ready?

Scard Raptor: *In the driving room* Engines are a go.

Spinosaurus: Excellent! Raptors! Let us sail into the sunset! By nine tonight! The invasion will begin!

*Raptors cheer*

Blue-eyed Raptor: Once we conquer the Earth, I am going to capture every hot celebrity and make them my personal pleasure slaves.

*Tape scratches*

Scard Raptor: *looks at Blue Eyes*... Your evil.

Parodyvill community center

Shen: What's this voting thing about?

Wolf Boss: *shrugs*

James Bond: Do you have any idea what this whole thing is about?

Sherlock Holmes: For once I do not know.

Backstage

*Kludd and Ginger angrily walk up to Crazybird and Nyroc*

Kludd: *whispers* What the hell is going on here?!

Nyroc: Oh. CB and I thought that it would be a good idea if we had a vote instead.

Ginger: *Gags and quickly drags Kludd away*

Crazybird: Told ya it would work.

Ginger: *Whispers to Kludd* We're screwed! They've must've found out!

Kludd: *Whispers* Relax. We'll just have to switch the votes around.

Crazybird: *Stands on podium* Good evening everyone.

*Everyone stops talking*

Crazybird: Thank you for coming at such a short time. Tonight, we are having a vote on who's greater, Spinosaurus? Or T-Rex?

Agumon: *stands up* T-Rex!

Bella: *stands up* Spinosaurus!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Crazybird: SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I RIP YOUR EYES OUT!

*Everyone stops*

Crazybird: Thank you. This is the reason why we're having a voting contest. If you look at the slip of paper you received when you got in, please leave a check in the box beside the name and place the slip in this large glass ball.

Effie: Hey! That's mine!

Everyone: SHUT UP!

Colorado River

Gir: I'm gonna sing the Do song now! Do! Do! Do! Do! Do! Do!

1 hour later

Parody Lake

Gir: Do! Do! Do! Do! Do! Do!

Scard Raptor: *Through the radio* Gir!

Gir: Do! Do! Do! Do!

Scard Raptor: Gir!

Gir: Do! Do! Do! Do! Do! Do!

Scard Raptor: There's nothing to do out there! Answer you little robotic bastard!

Gir: *Answers*

Scard Raptor: Finally! What information did you pick up on the humans?

Gir: I saw a squirrel. It was going like this. *Mimicks a squirrel*

Scard Raptor: *Sighs heavily* Where is your location.

Gir: Ummmmm. *Looks at sign* Parodyvill.

Scard Raptor: Excellent! Stay where you are!

Gir: *Red eyes* YES MASTER.

Scard Raptor: *Hangs up*

S.S. Hummingbird

Blue-eyed Raptor: *Looks at radar* Uhhhhh, Scar?

Scard Raptor: What?

Blue-Eyed Raptor: We're approaching the mainland. But their Navy wants to know who we are!

Scard Raptor: Uh oh. *Runs outside* MASTER!

Spinosaurus: What is it?

Scard Raptor: We are approaching the mainland but their Navy wants to know who we are!

Spinosaurus: Quick! We need a name! We can't have an Armada without a name!

Random Raptor 9473: How about the Pokepals!

Spinosaurus: NO! Something better. Something that will strike fear to all who hear of the Armada!

Orange Raptor: *Gasp* I got! I got!

Naval Base

General: Identify yourself

Spinosaurus: *Silhouetted and with a deep voice* We... Are the ARMADIES! We have come to-

General: Woah woah woah woah. Did you say, Armadies?

Spinosaurus: Yes. The Armadies. We ha-

General: That's a stupid name.

*Everything stops in the background*

Spinosaurus: *Normal* See?! I told you it was stupid! Why do I keep listening to you?!

Orange Raptor: I don't know.

Community Center

Crazybird: Alright people. The last vote has been submitted. Now we will finally see who is the best.

*Drum roll in the background*

Ginger: *Hands CB an envelope*

Crazybird: And the greatest Dinosaur is... *Opens envelope*

*BOOM*

Kludd: What the hell was that?!

Nyroc: I don't know! It came from outside!

Crazybird: Quick! Let's drop the suspenseful moment and run outside to see what it is!

*Everyone runs outside*

Po: Are you coming Holmes?

Sherlock Holmes: In a bit. I want to see something quick. *Looks up the Spinosaurus and T-Rex fight from Jurassic Park 3* OMG.

Outside

Scard Raptor: Damnit Gir! You wanna wake up the whole nation?!

Gir:... I do.

Blue-Eyed Raptor: Told ya we should've sent Orange instead.

Kludd: WHAT THE HELL?!

*Everyone sees Spinosaurus and the Raptor*

Scard Raptor:... Fuck.

Spinosaurus: GREETINGS! I AM YOUR NEW LEADER! Spinosaurus!

Soren: I must be high again because I could have sworn I saw that Spinosaurus talk.

Kludd: No duh.

Spinosaurus: That's right! Bask in my all powerful glory! Now bow down before me!

Everyone:...

Spinosaurus:... What?

Shen: Your real?

Spinosaurus: No. I'm a figment of your imagination, OF COURSE I'M REAL!

Crazybird:... Oh. Um...

AWKWARD SILENCE

Nyroc: We'll never bow before you!

Everyone: YEAH!

Scard Raptor: That's what you'll say now! *Points gun* But in the end you'll bow down anyway.

Ginger: Don't worry! I'll stop them! Hiya! *Performs a Kung Fu kick. But misses :D*

EPIC FAIL

Ginger: *Lands on her ass* Ow! Not fair author!

Spinosaurus: DESTROY THEM!

Kludd: FOR SPARTA!

*Everyone charges*

*Big fight occurs*

8 hours later

Sherlock Holmes: STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

*Everyone stops and looks at Sherlock Holmes*

Crazybird: Hey it's Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes: The fight is a lie.

Everyone: *exchanges confused looks and mutters*

Sherlock Holmes: I went through the fight scene and found that something was off. Right when Spinosaurus snapped the T-Rex's neck, I noticed something off. I noticed a sniper hidden in the trees.

Crazybird: Wait. What?

Sherlock Holmes: The Spinosaurus didn't kill the T-Rex. He had one of his raptors fire a silent bullet with toxins inside. The same one from Jurassic Park 2. The T-Rex was killed just as Spinosaurus killed him.

Everyone: *Gasps*

Ginger: If Spinosaurus hired a sniper...

Crazybird: Then that means!

Nyroc: SPINOSAURUS CHEATED!

Scard Raptor: Aw shit. They're on to us boss!

Spinosaurus: Son of a bitch! Damn you Sherlock Holmes! DAMN YOU AND YOUR AMAZING PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS! *Kicks Orange Raptor angrily*

Orange Raptor: *Disappears into the sunrise*

FATALITY

Spinosaurus: Raptors! RETREAT!

*The dinosaurs run away*

Kludd: Well it looks like you saved the day once again Mr. Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes: It's what I do.

*Crazybird, Nyroc, Kludd, and Ginger approach each other*

Crazybird: Well this argument is solved.

Nyroc: Guess we owe you an apology

Kludd: Nah it's cool. There's no real winner in the end. Just Steven Spielberg being a complete ass for making the Jurassic Park sequels in the first place.

Crazybird: Speaking of sequels. I heard he's making a Avatar 2.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Crazybird: Yeah that's what I heard.

Ginger: Well this sucks.

Kludd: Uh huh. But before we march over to Hollywood and give him a piece of our mind. Truce?

*Crazybird and Nyroc look at each other*

Nyroc: Truce. *Shakes wings*

*Crazybird and Ginger hug*

Kludd: Till all are one.

Nyroc: *Nods* Till all are one.

Ginger: Till all are one.

Crazybird: Till all are one!

Everyone: TILL ALL ARE ONE! *Jumps and freezes*

*The Touch starts playing in the background along with credits*

_You got the touch_

_You got the power_

_*music*_

_After all is said and done_

_You never walk, you never run_

_Your a winner_

_You got the moves, you know the streets_

_Break the rules, take the heat_

_Your nobody's fool_

_Your at your best when the goin' gets rough_

_You've been put to the test, but it's never enough _

Optimus Prime: Hey! That's my song!

Everyone: Shut up!

_*music plays loudly again* _

_You got the touch_

_You got the power_

_When all hell's breakin' loose_

_You'll be riding in the eye of the storm_

_You got the heart_

_You got the motion_

_You know that when things get rough_

_You got the touch_

_*music*_

MB: Nyra! Somebody posted my Bachelor's party video on YouTube!

_*music plays loudly again*_

_You never bend, you never break_

_You seem to know just what it takes_

_You're a fighter_

_It's in the blood, it's in the will_

_It's in the mighty hands of steel _

_When you're standin' your ground _

_And you never get hit when your back's to the wall_

_Gonna fight to the end and your takin' it all_

_You got the touch_

_You got the power_

_When all hell's breakin' loose_

_You'll be riding in the eye of the storm_

_You got the heart_

_You got the motion_

_You that when things get too tough_

_You got the touch_

_*music*_

_You're fightin' fire with fire_

_*music*_

_You know you got the touch_

_*music*_

_You're at your best when the roads get rough_

_You've been put to the test, but it's never enough_

_*music*_

_You got the touch_

_You got the power_

_*music*_

_You got the touch_

_You got the power_

_*music slowly fades*_

S.S. Hummingbird

Spinosaurus: They may have won this round. But what they don't know is that I've got the ultimate weapon back on Isla Sorna. Even though I probably shouldn't leave it vulnerable and by itself. But anyway, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE *Evil laughter*

Scard Raptor: Master! Blue Eyes is trying to get Orange to sleep with her again!

Spinosaurus: Damnit.

End

For now!


End file.
